Show Me The Money!

I survived Thanksgiving! Now I just have the stress of Christmas looming over me. I will feel SO much better once I have all my money for presents dealt with and the majority of my shopping done but I am not as close to that point as I would like to be. Just don’t think about it, Crystal. Don’t think about it. That is my new mantra. It is sorta helping. Side note: Michael’s boss man is trying to close a big deal right now and if it happens would mean a VERY Merry Christmas to me! So send some positive, hopeful vibes our way. Well, other than holiday excitement around here and a big family gathering that I luckily DID NOT have to cook for… We have added 2 new additions to the family. My parents spent Thanksgiving week in Myrtle Beach and came back with 2 Red Eared Slider Turtles for the kids. You would think they were for me though, since I seem to be the one that is overly excited about them. Aren’t they so stinkin’ cute??!! The bigger one is Cooper and the smaller one is Bailey. I can’t wait to make their terrarium badass. To do that I need MOOLAH! Sheesh. It is never ending. Our house is turning into a little mini zoo and honestly I would like a couple more additions. I have some books that will hopefully be ready to pick up from the library soon about turtles, snails and fish so that we can learn more about our newbies. A little sneak peek at a project we started working on this week… We have started working on a wind chime! We are using our sea shells from MIL and some acorns and sticks from our recent Sweetwater trip. We managed to get 3 of the strands done and we want to make 6 more. I can’t wait to see the finished product. Hopefully we will get some work done on it today. Registration for classes opens up on Tuesday! My financial aid is all squared away. Mostly. I just need to register on Tuesday and send in some paperwork and I will be set! Classes start on January 9th and I will be starting with English Composition I. I am excited and very nervous still. Reading the syllabus fuels my anxiety and there is a part of me that is sure that I am going to just struggle through this... read more

Getting Back to Basics

I think I may be getting addicted to blogging. For someone who used to really not like blogging and writing in general but decided to give it a try anyways…. it is becoming that one thing that is helping keep me grounded and keeps consistently making me feel good. Anywho… As of late we have been running into some issues around our house with technology. It has OVER infiltrated my house! Let me preface this with saying that I really am not overly against children watching TV or gaming even though there is a part of me that feels like I probably should since it seems to be stamped everywhere about how horrible it is for them. The problem that we seem to be running into now is that I have come to use TV and video games as a crutch. It is that way for me to keep them out of my hair and get some breathing space, which all us full-time mamas definitely need. It has reached a point though where even in between TV times or gaming times, I am being harassed about getting to watch this. Or play that. It has literally been driving me crazy. Haden would rather sit around and whine about what he can’t do at that particular moment than to do something fun with me and his sister. It doesn’t seem to matter much what I throw at him in way of alternatives. So today I called it quits on technology as a means of trying to kill time and numb the brain. 😛 For the kids anyways…. I made Michael promise that for the next week we would not watch TV during the day or play any video games so that we can have a period of detox and then we can see about slowly bringing the tech back in but never at the quantities we have been reaching as of late. I feel like all the time spent with our technology is working towards pushing us farther apart. So that is my plan. It sucks like hell. Just thought I would share. So on our first completely tech free day… well almost tech free anyways. I won’t go into the 2 TIMES I caught Michael trying to break the rules today…. I think I just got distracted. 😉 Today we actually went on a family hike at Sweetwater Creek Park, which is no easy feat. We love Sweetwater but... read more

Get Real: “Perfection” Part 2

Wow. The amount of support I have had in regards to my Get Real post has been amazing and very touching. You guys have no idea how much it means to me. When I wrote that blog last night it felt incredibly freeing. The emotional release was so strong that I cried the entire time. And even though I had felt so sure in my motives going in, I hesitated to actually publish it and put it out there when I was done. After I did, I started shaking. From nerves, I guess? Or fear? I wanted to be brave but in the end it was really hard. I have spent so much of my time wearing my mask of normal. The more I confronted my imperfections, the more I realized that I have been setting up others with the same insecurities that I feel. I think I have overcompensated for my weaknesses by taking on more and more so that I could prove that I can handle it all. Pretending to be supermom, who can handle anything. It actually wasn’t until late August that I acknowledged that the OCD/anxiety thing as a problem. I have literally joked it off and pretended it wasn’t a big deal for almost 5 years. I however reached a tipping point in having repeated manic moments in late August that made it hard to ignore. Since then I have been making a lot of changes to my life. I have been trying to take a step back from things and make everything easier on me in an attempt not to let myself get too overwhelmed. Most days it is still hard even while having less responsibilities. I feel like just acknowledging the problem has gone a long way towards working through it. Talking about it with Michael has really helped me. It is helping our marriage and he tries to step in when he sees that I am back tracking. I am forcing myself to “do” less. Waiting longer than I want to clean things up, whatever it might be. Inside it it still hurts to do it but I feel like every day that I push my limits it get easier. People have been sending me great advice and words of encouragement and I completely plan to use them to move forward. I just wanted everyone to know that I am thankful and that although I acknowledge my weaknesses that I don’t... read more

Get Real:”Perfection”

This morning I read this awesome blog called The Disease called “Perfection”. I cried like a baby while I read it. It was bluntly truthful and really resonated with me on something that has been bothering me a lot lately. The sense of guilt that I constantly feel at not being “good enough”. Looking at everyone around me and thinking that they seem to have it so much more together. Better mothering skills. Better behaved children. Happier marriages. The list could go on.  It is long but really worth the read. I just wanted to highlight a few things he said in the blog here so the context of this blog makes a bit more sense for those that haven’t read it. You should REALLY read the whole thing.  “What is the disease called ”Perfection”? Perhaps a list of its real-life symptoms will help you better understand it. We live in communities where people feel unconquerable amounts of pressure to always appear perfectly happy, perfectly functional, and perfectly figured….” “Here’s your wake-up call: You aren’t the only one who feels worthless sometimes. You aren’t the only one who took your frustrations out on your children today. You aren’t the only one who isn’t making enough money to support your lifestyle. You aren’t the only one who sometimes says things that really hurt other people. You aren’t the only one who feels trapped in your marriage.”  “Perfection” is a hideous monster with a really beautiful face. And chances are you’re infected. The good news is, there is a cure. Be real. Be bold about your weaknesses and you will change people’s lives.” Then he asks, Will you help me spread “Real”?  So here I  am. Spreading the real. I joke a lot about my OCD type tendencies. Most people don’t know that I have had anxiety/OCD issues that started right after Haden was born and they have progressively gotten worse over time. I obsess over 2 things. I can’t stand to see messes, everything has its place. And I don’t like to see any kind of dirt, food crumbs or dog hair on my floors. This sounds like such a simple thing typing it out. The part that makes it sucky? I literally feel anxiety and stress when I see the kids pulling out toys and I rush to clean them up as soon as they are done with them. I don’t feel better until everything is back in its place. I do the same with cleaning the floors. I sweep and vacuum throughout the day. If... read more

My Vision Board

My sister is currently taking a speech class, so she has been giving weekly speeches to the family for her assignments. This week her speech was on using Vision Boards. I Love this idea because it makes me think of things that I talk about in my childbirth classes and the labor vision board I made while I was pregnant with Addison. A vision board is a tool, and when used properly can provide inspiration and motivation to drive you towards reaching your goals. Think of them as daily visual affirmations of what you want to accomplish, and attract them to you. I hear your messages Universe! Now hear mine. 😛 Here is a link to make your own online! It is super easy.  Thank you, Heather for sharing this with... read more

« Previous Entries